October 20, 2002
Another Sunday night and many, many, many more to got. It’s been over 3 weeks since I left Alaska and the mindscrew has begun. Typical me—I start over analyzing phone calls and start turning everything into a pity party. I told him that I didn’t feel like anyone missed me…what I really meant was that I didn’t think “he” missed me. He’s so self-sufficient that he doesn’t need me and I know he loves me and enjoys my company but he doesn’t get lonely like I do. Maybe I should re-read his card.
I read the card and feel like an idiot. “I feel luckier than ever to share my life with such a wonderful wife and more aware than ever of what true friendship means.”
He loves me, despite my stupid mindscrew episodes—how lucky am I?
Fast Forward: I want to gag and bitch slap my former self. Gross.