- Don’t live in the shadow of others and don’t cast a shadow on anyone.
- Be you. You are everything on the list (wife, mother, sister, friend…) but not just ONE = all in one beautiful, incredible package. Others love you for the whole—not just the one.
- Feel good physically — find your happy place (physically), either embrace and accept your current physical self or change it.
- Feel good emotionally — if you need a happy pill, take it.
- Choose to maintain only the friends you want to be old with. Keep a distance to the rest—they are a waste of your time.
- Don’t resent the mojo in others. Your spouse, your friends, your children. Recognize it and be happy for them. Look at them, see how they glow, know you’ll be there too.
- It’s OK to explore spiritually — you don’t have to commit to one religion or dogma. Fine things that make you feel fulfilled and go with it. You can embrace nature like a pagan while enjoying the rituals of a Catholic mass and meditating like a Hindi…it’s all good if its all good.
- Accept your faults, change what you can and accentuate your positive features. We’re only human.
- Make time for yourself any way you can. This is critical. you won’t find your mojo if you can’t focus on yourself.
- Reach out to others. People want you in their lives—our lives cross for a reason. Try to figure out why —are they here for you or are you here for them?
When my daughter was 3 years old I was recently retired from the military, a military spouse (following my husband’s career), still carrying my baby weight on my hips and belly and feeling very lost and without an identity…when I had the idea of creating my own path back to finding my mojo. These steps changed my life and renewed my sense of self, brought back my feelings of individuality and joy. I hope they help even one other person struggling with their journey to finding their place. It’s important to realize that this is not something that is done once and permanent…keeping your mojo is just as important and must be exercised as well. I have revisited this list over the years when my roller coaster dips from a joyful high to a challenging low. The steps continue to work for me–in no particular order–and have helped me stay happy and centered. xo
photo: This image was taken at a butterfly habitat in the Smithsonian…she is damaged but still, she can fly. kms photography